Candlelight Reflections

I attended a funeral last night.  It was a candlelight service held at my college for a girl killed by a drunk driver last weekend.  Although I did not know this girl, she lived in the same dorm that I do and the girls on her dorm floor hosted the service.  I always leave funeral services thinking of myself (not sure if that’s unusual or not) and this one was no different.  I always question if I have lived my life in such a way that, were I the one in the casket, people would be able to sincerely say the same kind words about me that they are saying of the deceased.  Watching a college student die only renewed that vow.  Am I impacting the people in my life?  We’re only one month into the semester.  This girl’s friends and teachers, who were sobbing and sharing fond memories, only had a handful of weeks to get to know this girl.  Yet she still impacted them.  Do I do that?  Do I rub off on people immediately?  There was a professor who shared at last night’s candle light service.  If one of my professors were asked to share their opinion of me, would they say, “She always came to class and turned her assignments in on time” or do I give them more to talk about?  The challenge I am trying to make is to not live the bare minimum.  Don’t just obey the rules.  Be influential! Go the extra mile!  I want my professors to be able to say that I was friendly or joyful or helpful, that I made them laugh or roll their eyes (in a good way.)  Hopefully they can say that I talked with them about issues and left a mark on their lives.  Because if I can impact people as remote from my personal life as my teachers…what will my family, friends and neighbors be able to say?   

The other thing I wanted to discuss about this girl’s accident was her means of death.  I had honestly begun to think that the phase of drunk driving issues was in the past.  So much awareness has been made on the dangers of getting behind the wheel while intoxicated that I had begun to see an obvious decline in the number of accidents.  I know a lot of people who are foolish about their alcohol consumption…but they still make sure to call a friend or a cab when its time to leave the bar!  I thought my generation would be battling other evils.  Apparently that is not so.  Due to one man’s reckless choice, a girl’s life was snuffed out much too soon!  I’m so proud of her for living her life to the fullest while she could! 

Good in Hollywood?

I never thought I’d say this, but I am very impressed with Beyonce!  For those of you who haven’t heard about what happened at the VMA awards, watch this video. This is just another story that proves that there still is a lot of good going on in our country!

So why am I impressed with Beyonce?  According to Celebuzz, later on that night Beyonce’s video won Video of the Year (ironically enough).  When she rose to give her acceptance speech, this is what she said:

“Thank you. I remember being 17-years-old, up for my first MTV Award with Destiny’s Child and it was one of the most exciting moments in my life. So I’d like Taylor [Swift] to come out and have her moment.”

Taylor then was able to thank her fans.  I’ve never been very impressed with Hollywood.  They have continually drug down the morality in our society, instead of encouraging our culture and building it up.  But the respect and character that Beyonce showed was amazing and inspiring.  It was what Hollywood needs.  It makes me wish I was a fan of hers (or at least her genre of music).  I want to support her and send a message to hollywood that says “This is what I want to see more of!”  Anyone have any good recommendations of Beyonce songs/albums that would make a good buy?

My list

Yesterday I promised to look for good in my local community as my own personal act of patriotism.  This is my way of telling all America’s 9/11 heroes that the country they sacrificed for has not completely abandoned they values the died under.  I’ve decided to do this simplistically with a bulleted list.  Here is what I witnessed the past week:

America is Good

• An older-than-average student returning to college after her youngest child moved away from home.  She waited until her mothering responsibilities were over before devoting herself to her newfound dreams. 
• A friend delivering cookies to her invalid neighbor who is laid  up due to knee surgery.  After spending hours visiting, she bought more food to bring to the sick man later.
• A religious organization that I have never particularly cared for nor supported invited a “non-churched” friend I know to hang out with them.  They stayed up til 3 am playing card games, then invited her back the next day.
• A girl willing to work a small job for a family who had formerly gossiped about her “fall from grace” when she became pregnant.
• A college professor taking time to send me a detailed e-mail when I asked him a question.  His response was full of truth and he refused to skirt around his personal convictions.
• A man who puts up with confusing, complaining and questioning e-mails from myself and others, but diligently searches out very detailed answers that we are seeking despite the vast amounts of research and writing it causes him to do.  This is not his job; he likes helping people so he does this voluntarily!
• College students studying Early Childhood Education taking young kids to the local Farmer’s Market and the owner teaching those kids what the different vegetables are.
• A family willing to leave their church (and therefore their friends and comfort zone) when that church openly accepted corruption that they could not, in good conscience, be part of.  This was done despite the fact that moving churches added another 2 hour drive for this family each sunday and they have a young child.

This is a short list.  I didn’t spend many hours searching and I know that so much more good remains!  But now I want to hear from you.  What is your list?  What good have YOU seen in your community?  

Blessings,
Em

Never Forget

I was 12 years old when my country experienced the worst attack in its history.  So, not very old, but old enough that I still remember it. I was at home (my mom was homeschooling my brother and I that year) working on math problems, when a friend called and told us to turn on the television.  The first plane had already struck but by the time we turned on the news, I watched the second plane strike on live TV.  As a young child, I watched people–real people, not hollywood characters–die before my eyes.  I will never forget Peter Jennings’ voice relating each fact and revealing the latest announcements.  I will never forget the stark contrast of billowing black smoke against a cloudless blue sky.  I will never forget the screaming, the crying, the swearing, the blood. For several years after, I watched anniversary coverages that highlighted the heroic acts made on that day and was inspired.  Today, I can pick up a history book, point to that section and say, “I remember when that happened.”  I can’t believe 8 years have past!

Now I’m 20. I have watched my beloved country hurt and heal.  I’ve watched the aftermath of 9/11 continue on to this day.  As American citizens, we’re reminded every time we go through security before boarding a plane, every time the news anchor reads off another war casualty, every time we visit a national tourist attraction.  We have scores of families growing up without moms, dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles.  That hole will remain for the next several generations. 

We’ve also had countless struggles surrounding 9/11 that were of our own making:  conspiracy and cover-up theories, the debates on whether the 9/11 movie was too soon and tactless, a long and tiring two-front war that continues to rage and the vast protests surrounding it…Most importantly, however, we’re living with the scary realization that the man responsible for attacking us is, as far as the public knows, still alive and at-large.            

As I pondered these things today, my heart broke.  We always discuss how strong America is and how inspiring she acted on 9/11.  We should discuss this because it is true.  It is also true that we have prevented such an attack from occurring again, despite the near certainty that there were more plots.  Yet even with the assurance of that knowledge and the founding of Homeland Security, I still felt fear today.  And it had nothing to do with Islamic Extremist Terrorists.  We have experience in dealing with enemies.  What I can’t figure out is just how we Americans can protect our country from ourselves. 

Who will inspire our children to be moral and upstanding citizens of character?  Who will clean up our media so it no longer trash that glorifies violence?  Who will put an end to materialism? Who will remind us that “politically correct” is far from correct? Who will teach us to stop spending more money than we have?  Who will show us the difference between love and lust? Or between wisdom and knowledge?  Who will remind us that “sacrifice” is something we should do daily?  Its a gift we need to give to the people we love!  These are lessons and priorities that I have learned and that I am reminded of every September 11. 

Glenn Beck has started a program called “The 9/12 Project.”  You don’t have to approve of Glenn Beck to realize that he has something great going on here.  The 9/12 mission statement says this:

This is a non-political movement. The 9-12 Project is designed to bring us all back to the place we were on September 12, 2001. The day after America was attacked we were not obsessed with Red States, Blue States or political parties. We were united as Americans, standing together to protect the greatest nation ever created.

That same feeling – that commitment to country is what we are hoping to foster with this idea. We want to get everyone thinking like it is September 12th, 2001 again.

9/11 taught us a lot about coming together.  9/12 was a day where you were proud to claim you were an American.  Can you say the same today?  I’m not involved in any way with the 9/12 project, but tomorrow (on 9/12/09) I will talk about the values America used to stand for and whether or not I have seen them at work lately. September 11 was a horrible day that I wish never would have happened.  But it has served as a constant reminder to us.  Each year citizens shout out “Never Forget.”  Just what is it we are refusing to forget?  I think those words are far deeper–and stand for much more–than any of us really realize.

two poems

I wrote a couple poems for my creative writing class.  Neither have rhyme or meter.  The first does have a line scheme, but the second is a prose poem in block (or paragraph) form.  I thought I would share them with you.  Feel free to critique, or let me know which one you prefer. 

Also, side note, the first poem, “Trust” is not meant to have political implications.  Yes, it is written in 2009 and I emphasize the word “hope”, but that is not me parroting Obama’s campaign.  I may need to change it slightly, due to that.  Let me know if you feel it comes across as political.

Trust

If trust equaled faith, equaled
hope, I would be a mess.
How thankful I am
It does not.

Trust did not leave me
Abruptly,
waving out the window of a car
driving away.

Instead, he became emotionally distant.
It took time
And loss
And pain.

A friend in the Psych ward
A government without Bin Laden’s head
A school teaching fabricated facts
Prayers that seemed ignored.

LIES!
My heart built up defenses
And could not take people at their word,
Cynical was what it became.

And yet…
Trust does not equal faith
nor hope,
Both of which I cling to.

(C) Emily Grace 2009

Grandpa’s Garden
Light and coarse, cascading between the cracked skin of his fingers, the dirt trickles down like a waterfall.  Groaning, my grandfather bends knees that are stiff with age and old war wounds.  I mimic his actions and drop the tiny seeds where he instructs.  As my bare feet lay in the impressions the old man’s shoes have made, the squishy material between my toes clings to my skin, latching like a leech.  I follow grandpa’s trail up and down the sod rows.  When we are done planting, I veer off his path, into the lush, cool grass.  As I glance back, I see my own dirt marks in my wake.
(C) Emily Grace 2009

Socialized Pizza!

This video may not be completely accurate today, but the future is uncertain and I think it is worth watching.  It is about socialization, but this is not me accusing any specific politician or organization of implimenting such things.  I do not believe anyone wants socialization, but I do believe that one step inevitably leads to another.  So when you vote or speak to your local government about issues that are important to you, I only urge that you be alert and cautious.

Affair

 

My dad has been in a joke-telling kick lately.  One of the jokes he found happened to be funny (trust me, that is not always the case!) so I thought I’d share it:

Two women meet at the gates of heaven
1st woman:howd you die?
2nd woman:froze to death, you?
1st woman:Heart attack, I thought my husband was having an affair so I ran all around the house looking for the woman and when I couldnt find her I was so worn out I had a heart attack and died.
2nd woman: You should have checked the freezer then we’d both still be alive

LOL,
Em

book review: Fine with God, Christians I can’t stand

I just started reading a wonderful book entitled: “I’m fine with God, its Christians I can’t stand.”  It’s a tongue-in-cheek, humorous look at the errors Christians make that just plain tick people off.  And it also suggests that some actions of the Christian Conservative Right may tick God off as well.  As a member of the Christian Conservative Right…I HIGHLY recommend this book!!  I’ve enjoyed reading it so far and have been able to exclaim “Oh, I know just what you mean!” more than once throughout.  The other great point is that its not written with a condemning tone, but one that invites people to laugh at ourselves!  If that sounds like something you need right now, order this book!  Here is the trailer for it:

Do animals go to heaven?

If not, it isn’t for lack of asking…

 

                

One Year Later

About this time last year I said this about a memorable horse ride with my aunt and uncle:

It was 8:30 at night, a beautiful sunset. My aunt put Baby Whitney in a stroller and came out and watched. The four of us laughed and talked . . . nothing heavy. He (my uncle) rode, she rode (her first time since having the baby). They took turns slowly pushing the stroller back and forth, because Whitney was fussing a little. We took pictures. . .It was beautiful. Afterwards, I helped my uncle put the horses in. I fed them, brushed them. We talked. All was right with the world. Family. It was the way God intended it to be. No one rushed, just giving each other time, love and beauty.

That story was my way of mourning.  To read the whole thing, click here.  That night riding horse is memorable for me because it was the last time I saw Baby Whitney.  She was a very sick baby and died a couple days later.  Today, the 16th of August, is the first anniversary of her death.  Truthfully, I forgot about that this morning.  I had it in my head that it was the 20th of August, because that was (or was close to) the day of her funeral.  But then, this afternoon, my uncle called and told us to tie up our dog.  We were puzzled until he confessed that he was on his way to visit us…riding horseback!  He and my aunt live just across the field from our place and, though we’ve joked about his just trottin’ over, he has never actually done it.  He came alone (they only have one riding horse, so my aunt couldn’t come.  She’s also pregnant again–due in December–and can’t ride.) 

When we found out my uncle was coming, my brother casually commented, “Isn’t it Whitney’s death date today?”  I looked it up, and he was right.  It was.  My uncle arrived and we all took turns riding horse.  It was the first time any of my family had ridden Bits.  For them, this was fun.  For me, walking Bits along the driveway and eventually picking up to a trot out in our pasture, it was about re-living memories.  It was about a baby who I loved and longed for, but was forced to give up, never allowed to cuddle with her or watch her grow.  It was a way of healing.  We didn’t talk about Whitney at all, but I did ask my uncle how he and my aunt were doing, and he said they were fine.  I’m grateful.  Today was a big day and this horse ride was about healing as much as it was anything else. 

 

                                                                                                                          Me & Bits, 2008, before Whitney’s death

Me & Bits today, one year later

Every sunday I try to spend some time reflecting and meditating on life.  Today, I learned the exact same lessons I blogged about last year: take time for family.  I truly believe that’s the way the world was meant to run.

Blessings,
Em